Last Saturday, then Boston Red Sox manager Terry Francona officially announced he would be leaving the team after eight seasons and two World Series titles. Afterwards, Francona said, “I think its time for a new voice here.” New voice? Eh, perhaps. New standards? Oh yes.
As previously mentioned, Francona spent eight seasons with the Red Sox, compiling a .574 winning percentage along with his two, yes two World Series titles. The rationale behind firing a man that has won more championships over the last eight seasons than the Padres, Rangers, Rays, Rockies, Astros, Brewers, and Angels ever have in their combined franchise histories, does not seem logical. It pains me even more to realize that my beloved Mets (embarrassing, I know) have won that many championships in 49 years.
So, as I said earlier I don’t think the Red Sox need a new voice, but a new set of standards. What’s startling is thinking about whom the Sox will hire after making such an appalling move.
Here we go, the candidates. First person that comes to mind is Bobby Valentine. His job at ESPN’s Baseball Tonight is a mere pause in his career as a manager. Valentine lived to yell at umpires and wear fake moustaches in the dugout, two things he cannot do on the set of Baseball Tonight. After Valentine on the list of managerial candidates sits about 38 current bench coaches, pitching coaches, and other miscellaneous members on teams staffs that no one cares about.
Next, the great Bill Buckner, because no matter how poorly he will do as the manager of the Red Sox, fans could not possibly hate him more than they already do. Johnny Pesky is next on the list because the only thing older than him in Fenway Park is that big yellow pole that’s named after him in right field. All joking aside, its time to reveal our final two candidates.
How about Joe Torre? This man knows everything and more about the Yankees and signing with Boston would burn a permanent hole into every Yankee fans heart. He knows a thing or two about winning World Series titles, and he can put an entire rival team’s fan base into depression. Sounds like a win-win to me.
And the final candidate to replace Terry Francona as the manager of the Boston Red Sox is…well wasn’t it obvious? Terry Francona. Yes, I said it. Terry Francona and Theo Epstein will be the modern day Billy Martin and George Steinbrenner. There simply is no better managerial candidate for the Red Sox than Francona himself. Yeah he was the leader of a team that had one of the worst collapses in September baseball history (no one will ever do worse than the 2007 Mets, ever), but the man knows how to win with this squad. The last time I checked, winning is all that matters in baseball.
But then again, I’m a Mets fan, and we would pay absurd amounts of money for wins. Oh wait, we have no money. (Sigh).
Will Gerhard used to collect baseball cards but now he just collects money because he’s a self-made entrepreneur. You can follow him on Twitter @theewillg. Correction: following him on Twitter will be the best decision of your life. “And that’s a promise from your Uncle John.” –Stealing Harvard
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